Lice Epidemic

Lice Epidemic

As the aching loss of our treasured green cups remains tender in our hearts, another Taft normalcy — hugging– has become noticeably absent. Observe with even more vigilance, and you will notice a new trend prevalent among underclassmen girls-ballerina buns and Pippi Longstocking-esque braids. These mysterious occurrences can only mean one thing: lice is among us.

Gone are the carefree days of snuggling into one’s Bingham seat on a Thursday morning and dozing off for a power nap to the din of a monk’s chant. Braids and buns are kept intact, and necks and backs are perfectly straight as to avoid the possibility of any nasty nits leaping from one head to another. The usual hoards of girls closely huddled or embracing in the servery have been strikingly absent, and there is a familiar panic-stricken look that glides across students’ faces in the rare occasion that a hug is initiated.

Students’ reactions to the phenomenon are varied, with CPT boys appearing to be the most stressed regarding the entire situation.

“I’m concerned for my good friend Stuyvie Coleman’s morale. Due to the epidemic he can no longer pursue one of his favorite activities; scheming freshmen girls in the Jig.”, notes Christian Rusell ‘17. Nurses are reportedly overwhelmed with swarms of frenzied students begging on their knees for several lice checks a day.  

For those in danger of attracting lice, I’ve compiled a list of precautions to take.

Here are my top tips:

  1.     Keep your hair up and in a braid or bun of some type.
  2.     Avoid head-to-head contact at all costs. Yes, that might mean no 7:15 vendies stops.
  3.     Skip a shower.  Don’t recoil at that thought because lice are attracted to clean hair.
  4.     Douse your hair with  proven lice repellents like tea tree oil or hairspray.

As our 2015 lice epidemic ensues, I have faith that we will survive. One thing is for sure, students have never been so eager to hear the words “It’s just dandruff” as in this past week. In parting, I urge everyone to refrain from scratching their head in public for the coming weeks. Doing so would result in social suicide quicker than one can say “nit”. Stay strong, Tafties!